Thursday, April 30, 2009

Sean Penn Files For Divorce

After splitting up 3 times in one year, Sean Penn has finally decided that he's had enough of Robin Wright and has officially filed for divorce.

If you remember the Oscars this year, Sean Penn didn't thank Robin Wright when he won but he did thank the "homo-loving sons of guns." Now if that didn't send a clear message that they were about to get divorced, I don't know what would.

Sean Penn seems to be the one who runs the show in that marriage and it looks like he's had enough. He probably wants to get better acquainted with Natalie Portman now that the two are doing a movie together. Hey, ya never know.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Julia Roberts Gets Drunk, Honors Tom Hanks

Julia Roberts is usually known for giving speeches in which she strokes her own ego in a subtle way. Well, all that has changed, my friend.

Julia Roberts gave a speech to honor Tom Hanks at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and man did Julia Roberts ever make attending a gig like that worthwhile.

Julia Roberts' speech went something like this (and yes, she was hella drunk):

"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson], and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the f*ck?

"I love the Coen brothers, but the hair Tom [Ladykillers], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! You in the airport with the accent (Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same f*cking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you." 

Seriously, I have a new respect for Julia.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Neil Patrick Harris Does Card Trick on Jimmy Fallon

Neil Patrick Harris, or Doogie as I like to call him, wowed audience members on Jimmy Fallon's late night talk show by pulling off a card trick like no other I have ever seen. I mean this is the stuff that real magic is made of. REAL MAGIC!

Neil Patrick Harris cracks me up because he manages to keep a straight face even when everyone around him is cracking up. Keep it up Neil. We'll be waiting for you when you decide to take Jimmy Fallon's place. 

Kim Kardashian Goes Blonde

I give Kim Kardashian props for trying a new look, but Kim Kardashian as a blonde will not fly. Yes, she still carries around that beautiful face, but the blonde hair does nothing for her look. 

There are some women who are just meant to have dark hair and that is the category where Kim Kardashian belongs. So Kim, please take off that nasty wig andf go back to your original color. 

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Bea Arthur is Dead at 86

Bea Arthur of Maude and Golden Girls fame, died in her sleep on April 25, 2009. Bea Arthur had cancer but the cause of death is still not known. 

Now I know that many of you have this question mark on your face as to who the hell this old chick is, but Bea Arthur was one of the funniest women on television in her day. As Dorothy Zbornak on Golden Girls, she always left me in stitches.

Our prayers go out to Bea Arthur's friends and family.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Grown Man Begs Justin Timberlake for an Autograph

I'm used to seeing screaming teenage girls begging celebrities of all shapes and sizes for autographs, but to see a grown man literally begging Justin Timberlake for an autograph is somewhat... disturbing.

Justin Timberlake sits in his car, ignoring the dude who is saying, "Justin please..." over and over again - and methinks the guy is on the brink of tears because Justin Timberlake won't roll down his window and give him an autograph. 

All in all, it's pretty funny, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it's downright weird to hear a grown man begging another grown man to sign a piece of paper. 

Friday, April 24, 2009

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are Back Together

I guess after seeing Lindsay Lohan on Ellen, Sam Ronson decided that she still really loves Lindsay Lohan and wants to work things out because her car was outside Lindsay Lohan's house all night and Sam Ronson didn't leave until 6 a.m.

So I don't know if this was just a booty call or a "I love you and let's work this out" moment, but I'm guessing that Sam Ronson probably felt like she was being used by Lindsay for a while there. Although that's kind of laughable because Sam wouldn't have made nearly as much money as she did had she not been with Lindsay.

Oh well, I guess all's well that ends well, huh?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Lindsay Lohan on Ellen Video

Lindsay Lohan visits Ellen DeGeneres today and ends up talking about Sam Ronson. Lindsay Lohan does her best to clear up all the gossip being written about her online, but admits that she had no idea that Sam Ronson was dumping her.

Lindsay Lohan also admits that her career is in the crapper and she needs to get back in the game, and even says that perhaps her relationship with Sam Ronson was destroying her more than helping her. 

Lindsay Lohan still fesses up, however, that she is still very much in love with Sam Ronson and hopes to one day reconcile. 

Gavin Rossdale Dated a Man Named Marilyn in the '80s

Before Gavin Rossdale began dating and eventually married Gwen Stefani and had two children, he dated Marilyn, an androgynous, party animal of a man. 

Although Gavin Rossdale's people deny that they were lovers, and even Marilyn himself denied it in 1995 after Boy George outed Gavin Rossdale in his book, Marilyn is now telling the world that he and Gavin Rossdale were lovers for 5 straight years. Pardon the pun.

I don't get what the big deal is... the '80s were a very strange time and Gavin Rossdale headed back to women in 1989 because his daughter Daisy Lowe, whom he had with Pearl Lowe, was born. Perhaps Marilyn needs to get a, oh I don't know, life?

Denise Richards Funbags Video is nailing the hilarity by enlisting celebrities who are falling off the fame wagon and putting them in hilarious videos. Enter Denise Richards and her funbags.

Denise Richards makes it clear that what really makes her famous is her funbags. Add to that her honkers and her hoo-ha and you've got yourself a freakin' party!

I'm not a big fan of Denise Richards personally, but this video makes me like her just a bit. Just a bit.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Kris Allen Performs She Works Hard For the Money

Oh man, is Kris Allen ever a contender! On April 21, 2009, Kris Allen performed Donna Summer's "She Works Hard For the Money" and he nailed it by doing a fantastic version of it.

Kris Allen is going to be in the finals with Adam Lambert if I have my way. Oh yeah, Adam Lambert also nailed his performance last night, but Kris Allen's version of "She Works Hard For the Money" is better than even the original. 

What do you think? Do you love it? Do you think he looks like Freddie Prinze Jr.? Do you care that he's married? 

Howard Stern Exposes Beyonce Lip Syncing

Apparently Beyonce isn't really that good a singer live and Howard Stern proved it. Back in November 2008, Beyonce performed on the Today show and she really destroyed her song. 

Poor Beyonce, I wonder which enemy released this track to Howard Stern to expose Beyonce for the singer she really is. Wow, this is really going to hurt her. I always thought she was a fantastic singer, and I still do. 

From what I understand, if you know you're not singing live, you simply don't try as hard. And Beyonce is no different. So, will Howard Stern have Beyonce on to prove she can sing? I hope so.

And forthose of you who aren't familiar with the Enrique Iglesias fiasco, go to 3:10 on the video and you'll understand what Howard Stern is talking about.

UPDATE: It was all a freakin' hoax. Wow, some people have waaaaaay too much time on their hands. And yes, I am one of them. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Perez Hilton Blasts Miss California

Perez Hilton has been crying into his Cheerios all week because he asked Miss California whether she is for or against gay marriage and she gave him an answer he didn't want to hear. 

It's no secret which side of the fence Perez Hilton sits on, and yeah, perhaps Miss California probably would have won had she remained neutral, but it seems that everyone lately is of the opinion that if you don't agree with them, you should be burned at the stake.

I watched Perez Hilton, who was surprisingly subdued and well spoken, on CNN last night and he went off about Miss California. I think that she answered the questions openly and honestly and she should be judged on her articulation, not her beliefs. 

If you are one of the 5 people who has yet to see it, enjoy.

The Snakes on a Plane TV Edit

Samuel L. Jackson is well known for his cursing in any and every movie he does. Snakes on a Plane was famous for it and we all knew what line he was going to use.

"I have had it with these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane!" But of course, Samuel L. Jackson can't say that on the TV version... what would the FCC think?

So the line was changed for television. What is it? You won't believe it.

"I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!"

Funny. And oh so clever.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Top 10 Worst Celebrity Interviews with David Letterman

David Letterman is renown for some of his really off-the-top interviews, through no fault of his own. And the dudes over at Liquid Generation decided to put together a Top 10 list of David Letterman's worst interviews.

It's kind of a misnomer, though, because his worst interviews turned out to be the most viral and memorable.

So check out some of the more unforgettable moments with the likes of Farrah Fawcett, Crispen Glover, Andy Kaufmann, Drew Barrymore, Joaquin Phoenix, and more.

April 20 - International Pot Smoking Day

I was wondering why Family Guy on April 19, 2009 was about legalizing weed - and then it hit me. Today is 4/20 - or 4:20, as you potheads call it - International Pot Smoking day. So yeah, nothing will get done today.

For all of you who went to work stoned, more power to you. For those of you who have to deal with the stoners who think the word "stapler" sounds funny and won't stop eating Doritos, hang in there, it's almost over.

By the way, for those of you completely out of the freakin' loop, 420 comes from a story about a group of teenagers from San Rafael High School in 1971. They would meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke weed at the Louis Pasteur statue because that was the time that afternoon detention was dismissed.

Ellen Pompeo is Pregnant

Ellen Pompeo and husband Chris Ivery are pregnant with their first child and the Grey's Anatomy star claims that this is going to be one of many. Hmm, I wonder how Shonda Rhimes is going to work this into the story. I'll give you 3 guesses.

So now Ellen Pompeo, whom I always thought looked to mousy to carry a child to term, is about to turn 40 and she decided that now was as good a time as any to get pregnant. 

Ellen Pompeo told Allure magazine in 2008: "I've got to get on it. The clock is ticking." And so there you have it. Next season on Grey's Anatomy, Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd will be with child.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Black Eyed Peas' Boom Boom Pow Video

Well it's here: the Black Eyed Peas official video for "Boom Boom Pow." The song is hella addictive and everyone who has an ear for music is in love with this song. The Black Eyed Peas have nailed the song of summer for 2009. 

So check out the "Boom Boom Pow" video and let me know what you think. Boom. Boom. Pow.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Jimmy Fallon Does Susan Boyle Skit

Jimmy Fallon  is smart enough to know that even if his show has terrible ratings, if he manages to make a skit that goes viral online, like say, one that features Britain's Got Talent's phenom, Susan Boyle, he's going to make a killing.
So Jimmy Fallon did just that and guess what? You'll be watching in just a second below. And yeah, it's pretty damn funny. And who knew Jimmy Fallon could get so angry?

Here She Is: Mel Gibson's Mistress Oksana Pochepa

So Oksana Pochepa is the "mystery mistress" that Mel Gibson has been giving it to for the last little while. Oksana Pochepa recently did a very provocative shoot for the Russian version of Maxim magazine and is likely thrilled at the publicity all this Mel Gibson divorce fiasco is garnering her.

Not only is she sleeping with a filthy rich actor who has his own island, now Oksana Pochepa will be making money in her own right by taking off all her clothes and posing in men's magazines all over the world. I wonder if Mel Gibson would approve. 

So what do you think? More power to Oksana Pochepa, or will she become a distant memory in no time? I mean, remember Monica Lewinsky? Yeah... but then, this chick is hot.

Celebrity Flaw - Drew Barrymore Yellow Teeth

As a celebrity, Drew Barrymore should know better than to parade around the paparazzi with canary yellow teeth - that's just wrong on so many levels. Drew Barrymore decided that she would wear all the Cover Girl makeup she had in her house before leaving the house.

If that weren't bad enough, Drew Barrymore then decided that she would wear a lipstick that would further accentuate the yellow teeth that she so proudly flashed during her Grey Gardens movie premiere.

It is a celebrity's job to look glamorous and when someone like Drew Barrymore - who is rolling in dough, mind you - doesn't get her cigarette and coffee stains removed, you gotta wonder what's up with that.

Friday, April 17, 2009

John Mayer Badmouths Jennifer Aniston

Did you know that John Mayer used to get bullied in high school and would get the crap kicked out of him? Well, you're about to find out why.

John Mayer is apparently badmouthing Jennifer Aniston to anyone who will listen, all in a bid to remain relevant to the world at large. And likely to promote his new album.

When John Mayer isn't busy hitting on anything with a pulse, he's telling these pulsating women what a clingy, needy and insecure woman Jennifer Aniston is. Wow, if I were Jennifer Aniston, I'd call up John Mayer for a meeting in a public place, tip the paparazzi off and then lay into Mayer and make him cry like a little girl. Then I'd give him a wedgie. But then, he is quite tall, so that might be a tad difficult. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Heidi Klum is Pregnant With Her Fourth Child

Congratulations to Heidi Klum who is pregnant with her fourth child - her third with singer Seal. Heidi Klum's people confirmed that the 35-year-old is about 4 months along and that she and Seal are ecstatic about the pregnancy.

So watch out for the next Project Runway because Heidi Klum will be sporting some killer maternity wear that pregnant women all over the world could only dream of. 

Rupert Everett Got Plastic Surgery - Why?!?

Oh my God, what has Rupert Everett done to his once beautiful face? The 49-year-old actor went from rugged and charming to tightened and plastic. Rupert Everett has just ruined his career because there is no way anyone would pay to see that new mug up on the big screen.

Some say he looks 10 years younger, but I think Rupert Everett looks 49 but with some awful palstic surgery. Maybe it just needs time to settle. Yeah, that must be it. Ugh, I can't take it. It doesn't even look like the same person.

Pop Star Knowingly Infected Partners with HIV

You may have never heard of the group No Angels, but the all girl band won a Popstars competition in Germany in 2000. The band broke up in 2003 but reformed in 2007 to represent Germany at the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest with their single "Disappear".

Anyway, band member Nadja Benaissa, who had HIV and knew it, knowingly exposed several sexual partners with the disease and it has since been confirmed that at least one of her lovers is infected.

Nadja Benaissa, a single mom of one, was arrested in Frankfurt on Saturday, April 11, 2009, right before she was about to do a solo performance. She was kept in custody after a judge ruled that she might repeat her alleged offense.

If found guilty Nadja Benaissa faces up to 10 years in prison.

Pole Dancing Competition Highlights 2009

When I say I was blown away by this video, you gotta believe me. I've been to many strip joints and have never seen anything even remotely close to this talent. And did you notice the rock hard butts on these women?!?

Anyway, watch the Pole Dancing Competition Highlights Video and tell me that your mouth didn't drop at least a couple of times. These ladies have talent!

Ashton Kutcher Challenges CNN on Twitter

Ashton Kutcher is probably the most avid Tweeter, besides his wife, Demi Moore. And now Ashton Kutcher has challenged CNN to a "fan off". Allow me to explain:

Ashton Kutcher bet CNN that he could reach 1 million and the AP reports that:

The 31-year-old actor recently threw down the gauntlet, challenging CNN and its founder, Ted Turner. In a Web video posted earlier this week, Kutcher said he would ding-dong-ditch Turner's house if he beat CNN to 1 million. (For those unfamiliar with the classic adolescent prank, ding-dong-ditch is when you ring someone's doorbell and run away.)
"I find it astonishing that one person can actually have as big of a voice online as what an entire media company can on Twitter," Kutcher said in a video he posted on "I just thought that was kind of an amazing comment on the state of our media."

I don't know about you, but Ashton Kutcher seems like he has a whole lot of time on his hands and I find it worrisome that all he does is Twitter all day long. I mean, can't the guy get a job or something?!? Then again, I'm pretty sure that Twitter pays Ashton a bunch of money per post, as does as of now. 

Twitter is great and everything but to "ding-dong-ditch" Ted Turner's house at 31 years old makes you a... a loser. For the record, CNN is winning.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Jessica Alba Has a Bow Tattoo on her Butt

Jessica Alba is about as beautiful and perfect as they get, and she has the perfect little bow to prove it.

Jessica Alba is smart enough to hide her tattoos from plain sight, but when she bends over, sometimes things that she may not want to show off end up in plain sight anyway. So we all know now that Jessica Alba has a cute little bow tattoo above her butt crack.

So what do you think of this bow tattoo? Classy or tacky? At least it's not a blatant bull's eye, I guess.

Angelina Jolie Pregnant With 7th Child

Angelina Jolie is 2.5 months pregnant again... and the world sighs with a happy smile. Who can believe that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are going to have a seventh child?!?! SEVENTH!

Angelina Jolie is almost past her first trimester and considering she just loves being pregnant, I'm guessing Brad Pitt is going to continue to impregnate her until the well runs dry. 

To be honest, I'm very happy for the both of them and I guess this will put all the "break up" rumors to rest once and for all. I wonder if Angie and Brad are still going to head to Pakistan to adopt as well.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Chris Brown Dating Natalie Mejia

So yesterday the rumor mill had us believing that Chris Brown was dating Erica Jackson, an ex-girlfriend and nobody from Virginia. Well now Girlicious band member Natalie Mejia admits that she and Chris Brown are, in fact, dating.

Chris Brown and Natalie Mejia were seen coming out of a tattoo parlor together on April 13, 2009, but she wouldn't tell the pappos what they were doing in there together. Natalie Mejia is telling anyone who will listen that Chris Brown is a total gentleman and treats her with the utmost respect. 

So essentially, Natalie Mejia is getting paid to tell the world that Chris Brown isn't beating her. Yay!

Jamie Foxx Badmouths Miley Cyrus

Jamie Foxx has a radio show called The Foxxhole (who knew?) and he and some of his genius friends at the station decided that they would diss Miley Cyrus for badmouthing Radiohead.

Jamie Foxx called her a bitch and one of his cohosts suggested that she release a sex tape that she makes with her dad. Someone else even suggested that she do crack. Wow, classy, this show is.

So now we're all waiting on Jamie Foxx's apology and the excuse he's going to use for saying the stupid things he said. What a mo.

Lindsay Lohan Does a Dating Ad

When the world is laughing at you, you can do one of two things: you can shave your head and attack people with umbrellas, or, you could laugh at yourself. Lindsay Lohan chose the latter and she did a great job of it.

Lindsay Lohan did a spoof (or is it?) dating ad in search of love and she addresses all the things that are being said about in gossip magazines and blogs. Lindsay Lohan admits that she's newly single (or she thinks so) and takes credit for selling most gossip rags. 

So what do you think? Does Lindsay Lohan still have the acting chops? I say yes.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mel Gibson's Wife Files For Divorce

It was inevitable and it only took 28 years, but Robyn Gibson has finally filed for divorce from Mel Gibson and will likely get half his assets. And despite the recent photographs of Mel Gibson cheating with another woman (Oksana Pochepa), apparently, Robyn Gibson claims their problems started long before that. Hmm, ya think?

So Robyn wants half his shit and wants joint custody of their 10-year-old son Tom (they have 7 kids together, but Tom is the only minor of the bunch). Do you know how much Mel Gibson is worth? About $900 million. Now that's gotta hurt. 

The couple has already been separated for the last 2.5 years, so it comes as no surprise that she took the final step.

So what do you think this means for Mel Gibson? Think he'll be about town, drinking up a storm and sleeping with 20-year-olds? Or will he head off to his private island and become a recluse? Oh wait, I think Robyn might own that island now...

Flo Rida Gives the World His Phone Number

Flo Rida really loves his fans. Flo Rida loves his fans so much, in fact, that during a CNN interview, he gave out his phone number - 350-528-2786 - and now all his fans can call him, text him, or leave him a message.

Flo Rida claims that he responds to 30% of the calls he receives, but I'm guessing that that number is going to go down significantly after all the bloggers put up his number.

So again, that phone number is 350-528-2786, so give Flo Rida a call and tell him that he spins you right round, baby, right round.

Chris Brown Dating Erica Jackson

Chris Brown wasted no time and managed to land himself a new girlfriend in Erica Jackson. Who the hell is Erica Jackson? Well, she's an ex-girlfriend of Chris Brown's that he hooked up with again when he went back to Virginia recently.

Chris Brown and Erica Jackson were dating well before he met Rihanna, and now the two are back in the saddle again. I'm guessing that his PR people suggested that he find a girlfriend fast so that he can slowly put his woman-beating past behind him by dating girls and not, well, beating them.

Sources say that Rihanna is going to be crying hysterically under her umbrella-ella-ella (sorry, had to work that in there) when she hears that Chris Brown moved on so quickly. Them's the breaks, huh?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Susan Boyle Britain Got Talent Video

I have to admit that when Susan Boyle walked onto the stage of Britain's Got Talent, I thought she was going to suck. I guess because of the way it was built up. But when she belted out the first lyric, I got goosebumps and felt like an idiot.

I didn't feel like an idiot... I felt the way Simon Cowell felt - shocked and awed. Susan Boyle, get yourself a good stylist and you'll make it all the way to the top on Britain's Got Talent, baby!

Simon Cowell to Quit American Idol?

If this is true, American Idol is screwed. It appears that Simon Cowell just can't keep up the brutal schedule he has and plans on quitting one show, and right now that show looks like it's going to be American Idol.

Between Britain's Got Talent, X Factor and American Idol, Simon Cowell has a one year contract with the latter, so it looks like he can get out of it easily. It's also possible that Simon Cowell is fishing for a hell of a lot more money.

So would you watch American Idol if Simon Cowell left? I'd probably watch the auditions but wouldn't watch it through to the end.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

How One Man Prepares to Attract Women

There's this guy, see, and he takes attracting women very seriously. No, I mean very, very seriously. I'm not sure if he's pulling a Tom Cruise-like act, or if he's for real. It's probably the latter.

Anyway, he starts lip-synching and dancing his pretty little heart out. And if you listen to the ritual he goes through before going to a "social gathering" to "attract women," you can bet that he will never end up in your bed. 

Enjoy. And keep in mind that - he is not alone.

Billy Bob Thornton Cancels Canadian Tour

After Billy Bob Thornton was stupid enough to call Canadians "mashed potatoes without the gravy" on a local radio station, he was met at a concert in Toronto with full-on boos on April 10, 2009. Billy Bob Thornton and his useless band then proceeded to leave the stage because no one really wanted to hear them.

This all began because Billy Bob Thornton got pissed off because radio host Jian Ghomeshi brought up his acting career upon introducing him and his band The Boxmasters, and Billy Bob Thornton started pouting like a little biah (see video below).

Now Billy Bob Thornton has cancelled his Canadian tour because some of the band members are "sick" (which is code for, everyone's asking for their money back), and he's headed back to a place where he's more comfortable.  Looks like Angie Jo really did give him the kiss of death, huh?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Pregnant

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. are going to have a baby in the fall according to a close friend of Sarah's. Sarah Michelle Gellar, 31, and Freddie Prinze Jr., 33, have been married for 6 years and this is the first child for both.

Sarah Michelle Gellar hasn't had a stellar movie career of late, but I'm sure she made enough money off of The Grudge and the other replica movie she made that she's pretty comfortable. And Freddie Prinze Jr.? Well, he's still living off of his dad's royalty checks.

Congrats to both of them, even though they're about 3 years late jumping on to the baby bus. Just kidding, relax, will ya?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Christina Applegate Smoking After Cancer Scare

I adore Christina Applegate and was so glad to hear that she recovered fully from a double mastectomy recently after she discovered she had breast cancer. So why oh why is Christina Applegate taking a crap on her good fortune?

I guess it's one of those things where you start speaking to God and making all kinds of promises, then, once you're better, you slowly start to fall back into your routine and taking advantage of your situation.

That's right. Christina Applegate was snapped smoking a cigarette. A cigarette. It won't get her high, it won't make her more attractive - in fact, it will kill her. And yet, even cancer didn't stop her from lighting up. Ah, will wonders ever cease?

Robert Pattinson Injured on New Moon Set

Robert Pattinson was injured during a scene on the New Moon set. Did he break an arm? No. Did he cut up that darling face? Absolutely not.

No. Robert Pattinson pulled ligaments in his gluteus maximus. In plain English - he hurt his butt. Po, po baby. Now he needs to undergo intense butt massage to remedy the situation. I can just see the women ligned up right now, volunteering their time to his butt cause.

Personally, I think that Robert Pattinson is making the whole thing up because he has a butt fetish. One can only hope.

Pete Wentz Cheating Ashlee Simpson

Maybe Pete Wentz isn't giving it to someone else just yet, but it's only a matter of time before Pete Wentz ends up cheating on Ashlee Simpson. After Ashlee Simpson headed home during Pete Wentz's tour, Pete and the rest of Fall Out Boy headed to Vegas. And you know what happens in Vegas...

Pete Wentz ended up in his hotel room with a bunch of groupies and ended up bumping and grinding with a few of them (and there are pictures to prove it). Ashlee Simpson is at home taking care of Bronx Mowgli and you know she's pissed as hell about this.

Pete Wentz doesn't seem like the type of guy who can stay married and committed for too long, so watch out divorce court, because here they come. And I don't mean that in a perverse way.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Kid Cudi Invites Kanye West and Common to Poke Her Face

So Kanye West, Common and Kid Cudi decided that doing an insane remix of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" would be a fantastic idea. And you know what? They were right.

Common and Kanye West kill it on this song, and I don't know who Kid Cudi is, but the boy has got the right idea. Take a listen to "I Poke Her Face" and let me know what you think. It likely won't hit the airwaves (maybe if they remove the "k"), but it may hit it big in the underground.

Funny 911 Calls

Jay Leno did a segment on The Tonight Show where he aired actual 9-1-1 calls from stupid people who should be fined for what they're doing.

The 9-1-1 calls are pretty damn funny, but the best one, by far, is the very last one. So make sure you listen to the last 9-1-1 call because it is definitely worth it.

And for the record, the one with the stupid chick who called 9-1-1 from McDonald's because they didn't have Chicken McNuggets isn't on it.

Halle Berry Harper's Bazaar Cover

Halle Berry still looks gorgeous at 42, and I'm sure that having 33-year-old Gabriel Aubry by her side helps somewhat. Unfortunately, the people over at Harper's Bazaar decided to put up one of the most awful pictures I have ever seen of Halle Berry.

It looks like Halle Berry has bags under her eyes, and her hair looks like she just put it on without looking in the mirror first. Maybe it's just me, but I'm guessing that this cover just won't sell very well.

In the magazine, Halle Berry reveals that getting back in shape after daughter Nahla was born wasn't easy and that she has to work hard at staying in shape. It's nice to hear a celebrity being honest about what it takes, rather than the usual, "I don't diet, I hate exercise, I just look like this naturally" spiel.

Zac Efron Throws a Pool Party For Funny or Die

Zac Efron and his buddies - Vanessa Hudgens, Carmen Electra, Brody Jenner, Queen Latifah, Nicole Richie, and many more - put together this video exclusively for Funny or Die. And while it's not really that funny, you will die after seeing it. Lame, I know.

Anyway, Zac Efron's cheesy uncle shows up and embarrasses him and tries to sleep with everyone present. Given, there are a couple of times where you might crack a smile, but overall, this video was put together to show you that Funny or Die can get many celebrities together and make a spoof.


Adam Lambert Performs Mad World on American Idol

Adam Lambert has officially proven that he is in a league of his own. After performing "Mad World" from the year he was born, American Idol had run off its allotted time slot and only Simon Cowell was able to comment.

And what did Simon do? He gave Adam Lambert a much deserved standing O. The performance gave me chills and you know that it's going to be the most downloaded song of the night on iTunes.

What did you think of it? Shouldn't they just sign Adam Lambert now and get it over with? It's not fair to the other contestants.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Robert Pattinson in Dossier Magazine

Robert Pattinson really knows how to photograph well, and he proves it again and again in magazine. This time Robert Pattinson lent his increasingly attractive mug to Dossier magazine, and goodness he looks hot.

I'm certain that any magazine that sports Robert Pattinson on the cover sells out in minutes. Robert Pattinson knows how to sell himself and really works it.

So what do you think of these Robert Pattinson pictures? I think they're smoking hot.

Celebrity Flaw of the Day - Serena Williams Cellulite

Serena Williams is one woman I would not want to mess with. Yes, she's soft spoken, but she carries a big stick - well, a tennis racket, but you know what I mean.

But I will, however, reveal that even Serena Williams, the woman who can throw down with the best of them in a tennis match, is plagued with cellulite. And boy does baby have back. 

Serena Williams looks like she enjoys a bucket of wings every now and then, and it's starting to show on her bottom and thighs. Ah cellulite, what a formidable opponent. 

Hugh Hefner's 83rd Birthday Party

Ah, another year has come and gone and now Hugh Hefner is 83 - 83! Wow, that's a lot of sex for one man in one lifetime. Unfortunately, Hugh Hefner refuses to admit that he now needs afternoon naps and Ben-Gay, and so he tries to keep up with the 20-year-olds.

But looking at this picture, you have to admit it - either it Hugh Hefner is more interested in finding out who called or he's acting like he's interested in finding out who called and is taking a little, well, we'll just call it a catnap.

Poor Hugh Hefner... most 83-year-olds are surrounded by their kids and grandkids and poor old Hef is surrounded by vagina and silicone as far as the eye could see. I'm guessing most guys would still choose the latter.

Eminem's We Made You Video

Eminem is back, but he has nothing new to offer this time around. Yes, Eminem goes after the usual suspects - Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson - but it just feels like I saw this video in 2006.

I adore Eminem and must say he looks pretty damn good (he was getting fat for a while there), but he really needs to step up his game if he wants to get back in the good graces of his fans.

So watch the video, "We Made You" and let me know what you think. I think it has a great chorus but that's about it.

Gary Coleman Hates White People

I know, I know. Gary Coleman should not be making the gossip headlines, but this video is pretty interesting. Gary Coleman lets the world know that he thinks that white people are just, just... he can't find the words.

Gary Coleman is angry and bitter... probably because people still run up to him and say, "Watcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?" every time he goes out. That, and the fact that he's pretty short. 

Anyway, Gary Coleman is shown talking smack about white folks. But the best part of the video is at the very end when Gary Coleman jumps up to slap a DJ. Now that's entertainment. 

Monday, April 6, 2009

Angelina Jolie Collapses on the Set of Salt

Angelina Jolie has reportedly collapsed after shooting a scene for her upcoming movie Salt. Word has it that Angelina Jolie is in a desperate bid to lose weight for the role and ended up collapsing after a pretty tough scene in which she was running around the set. 

Angelina Jolie is also stressed out - what with the hottest man by her side, 6 kids to contend with and working long hours - so she tends not to eat when she's in this funk. 

I thought Angelina Jolie was pretty thin to begin with, but I guess when you see yourself on a humongous screen, you always look fat. Hopefully, she starts eating again soon and begins feeling better.

Chris Brown Pleads Not Guilty

I don't know how this is even possible, but Chris Brown is said to be pleading "not guilty" in today's arraignment, and everyone, including Rihanna, is scratching their heads and saying, "What the f&^%?!?"

Chris Brown was arrested after he beat up Rihanna on February 7, 2009 while driving in his car. At first, it was believed that Rihanna would not press charges and just wanted to go back to the way things were before the beating and that picture of her bruised and battered face surfaced. But that would not be so. 

Now word has it that Rihanna is cooperating with the prosecution and Chris Brown might never sing in this town again. Stay tuned.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sam Ronson Dumps Lindsay Lohan

Sam Ronson has finally caught on that Lindsay Lohan is nothing but dead weight. Yes, it's true that Sam Ronson got most of her DJing gigs because she was dating Lindsay Lohan, but now it seems that Lindsay Lohan is broke and useless in every way. That's right. Sam finally dumped Lindsay.

So Sam Ronson locked Lindsay Lohan out of her house on April 4, 2009, because, and I'm just guessing here, Lindsay Lohan is getting too expensive and useless for her own good. I think she may need an intervention. Where are Ben Affleck's people?!?

It may also be because Lindsay Lohan has been getting too close to Lily Allen, and not just as a "friend." Sam Ronson didn't just lock Lindsay out, she changed the locks. So Sam must mean business. That, or Lindsay just doesn't get the message.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Obama Says F*ck You

Thanks to the boys over at College Humor, Barack Obama tells it like it is. He tells the crowd "F*ck you" over and over again.

To be fair, the crowd deserves it. After all, they're holding up all these signs and they just won't settle down. Thanks to Barack Obama, that's a change I can definitely believe in.